Regrets

Release, Kirsten Iehl, Oil on Panel, 2010

So many words
Left unsaid
I never took the time
I thought I’d have the chance
The things I never did
Replay in my head
Maybe if I had
You wouldn’t have left
The way you did.
You’ve become a statistic
100% of people
In my life
Leave me
One way or another.
I thought you were doing better
I had just seen you
The month before
If I’d have known…
I’d have told you
How much you meant to me
I’d have thanked you

Release (detail), Kirsten Iehl, Oil on panel, 2010

For saving my life
And being the best
Friend I could have asked for.
I would have returned
The favor.
Some days I can’t
Get you out of my head
Or stop the tears
When I see
all the amazing things
You couldn’t
Other days I hate you
For leaving me
Alone.
Which is exactly
What I am.
You were selfish.
I should hate you.
But you spent your
Entire life
Fixing everyone
Else’s problems
I just hope you left
Knowing
How much you are loved
And how terribly you are missed.