Illusions

Rooted in Despair, Kirsten Iehl, Oil on panel, 2012

Searching for something
That’s not really there
Looking back at what
Once was

Everything has changed
I’m not who you think I am
You trapped me
Months ago

In this façade I put on
Just for you
When will I be freed?
What do I have to do?

I’m suffocating
Dying inside
Slowly and painfully

Skin Deep, Kirsten Iehl, Oil on Panel, 2012

              Longing to be free

              Of your judgments
              Free of the assumptions
              I can’t tell you
             What is in my head

              It would only kill you
              I would become
             The one thing I promised
              I would never be

              But is lying
              The only choice?
              How do we both
              Get out alive?

Flesh Wound, Kirsten Iehl, Oil on Panel, 2012

       I never wanted
       It to end
       Like this.
       Its not like me

      To hurt you this way
       It is like me
      To shoulder all the blame
      Free me from this guilt

      Tell me what to do
      Help me fix
      Your broken heart
       I’m sorry.

       I feel like
       I’ve just stabbed you
      And now twist the knife
                                                                        When we talk.

I don’t regret
Anything
Except the pain
That I caused you.

I’m glad I met you.
Glad we dated.
Glad its over.
But I will

Always care for you.
Even if easier
Would be to forget you
You are a part of me.